I have decided I am the nicest, cutest, sweetest, most caring sadistic misanthrope you are ever going to meet. A friend once gave me a bumper sticker that read "Evil Shouldn't Look This Good." The Pobble Mobile wore it proudly until Columbine (I was a local at the time) at which point it stopped being quite so funny. My profile even says I'm a quivering mass of contradictions.
My ex-husband and I met while my pendulum was swinging away from being bad-ass during my teenage years. After we got married, I spent a lot of time being a good wife, a good woman, a good wait-er, the good reason to fight the war and come home. I do not begrudge any of the choices I made. Those choices, however, denied a part of who I am.
Recently, I have had occasion to remember that there is this other side of me. This side that is bad-ass ~ if not teenage, any longer. That is edgier. That isn't quite so good.
I am not cruel. I am not negligent with people. I will go out of my way to be kind to people. Maybe that's the joy of having ignored the bad-ass for so long. I can find the balance between the good and the bad-ass at this stage in my life. I am so aware that I do not have to choose one or the other. My favorite word is (and has been for a very long time) "both." And I am reclaiming my Both.
This doesn't suck, I gotta tell you.
Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.
8 comments:
first of all, may i just say i thoroughly enjoyed your use of the word 'misanthrope.'
there are certain words in this crazy language of ours that people rarely use well, misanthrope (and bedeviled) being two of them. but then, the way in which you wield the english language is part of the reason i love you so. that, and your "both-ness."
here's to the sweet and sassy!
love,
your younger
There are clearly times when something is an either/or situation, and I totally understand that. Compromise is part of life. But NOT if it means denying who you are at your very core. Both is not only acceptable, it's necessary.
I don't know that I have a bad-ass side exactly. I am generally a very accommodating, caring, compassionate person. BUT, if you cross me, betray me, hurt my kid, my family or my friends, I tend to be ruthless. One lesson my father taught me that many might find rather offensive is that sometimes it is absolutely necessary to cut off your nose to spite your face. It's a tough lesson to learn, but it's one that has served me well.
Both. I love it.
it's okay to have both sides because I try to convince people that we cannot be just one way all the time...it's like everyone has a good side and a bad side
From what you describe, it sounds like you're just having some much-needed fun to me, and there's nothing bad or evil about that. Even if you are being darker, well, I think everyone's a mix, pretty much. I enjoy your sweet *and* your tangy.
I've been sitting here trying to think of something relevant to add that doesn't sound like a Hallmark card or tired cliche, and I can't think of anything.
I like this post. I'm looking forward to many a BBP (BothBostonPobble) post.
There, I lamely said it. I'm going to go pout now.
No one can be good all the time, life affects all of us at some point and time, and we all know how hard life can be...Yeah hunny gurl I'm back!
Ah...tis great to be real isn't it!
STB aka Both!
If I had thought of it, I would have wrote pretty much what you wrote.
I think the difference is though, I've always embraced "both".
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