Another Take On It, Though...

You know I love Pride. I celebrate it. I try very hard to live it. The LGBTQ community is my community. Happily and, well, with pride. But...for every one of us who celebrates Pride, there is at least one who doesn’t. Who takes no pride in being part of our community. Gay men, lesbians, queers, transgendered people, bisexual men and women – people who should be able to take pride, who should feel a part of the LGBTQ community. After all, that’s what the word community means. Yet they feel no pride, so why celebrate Pride?

           

It would be easy to say they need to get over themselves; to lay it at their feet. It would be easy and, goodness knows, it would be more convenient. If it is their fault, their problem, then we don’t have to look at how we might have contributed to these feelings. After all, no one is responsible for our feelings but ourselves; no one can make you feel inadequate without your permission. Blah, blah, blah. We know all the catch phrases. Honestly, I’m even a fan of these phrases. I believe them to be true.

           

I also believe the overuse of these catch phrases is a cop-out. We use them to be able to insult people, to be cruel, to be dismissive, all while being able to blame the very person we have just tried to hurt if they actually get hurt by the fact that we have just tried to hurt them. How is that even logical?

           

But, what does this have to do with Pride or even with us? Because there is a hierarchy within our community. We like to pretend there isn’t. We like to pretend that, as an oppressed group, we come together in unity. We like to pretend we are a united front against those with straight privilege. Sadly, if you talk to more than a handful of bisexual people, you will discover this isn’t the case. If you talk to gays and lesbians of color, you will discover racism is as rampant among us as it is within the straight community. If you get to know transgendered people – do you even know a transgendered person? – you will hear stories of his or her “community” being as judgmental as the cis-world.

           

You don’t want this to be true. I don’t want this to be true. But as adults, we know that wanting something to be different doesn’t automatically make it so. We have to work to change it. I think Pride would be a good time to start or continue that work. Recognize where you have privilege, because most of us carry it somewhere. Watch your humor and your jokes. If someone doesn’t think you’re funny, let that be about you, not about them. Admit that yes, even as the focus of bigotry, we can still be bigoted. Don’t use politically correct words just because you know them; really think about why they are important and change the way you think, not just the way you speak.

           

If we can start here, with Pride, with ourselves, maybe we can open the community to pride. It’s worth a shot.

Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.