Monday, November 26, 2012

The Ebb and Flow of Friendship

The FE and I exchanged a few emails the other day, in which I admitted to missing her, just sucking at writing. In return, she admitted to thinking about me all the time, as well. Then she said "we each know the other is out there." It was spot on. We aren't in touch often and yet, it doesn't seem to matter. We each know the other is out there. And it is helpful in that we are both in the same tide as the other. It's not always the case.

Two other friends of mine... In one instance, I am the one wondering why the friendship has shifted. I've done all the things I'm supposed to do. I checked in. I made sure I was initiating. I asked if we were all right. It's all been acknowledged, appreciated, reassured. Because of who this guy is, I even believe him when he assures me we're all right. When a friendship ebbs, that's often the truth. Everything is all right. It's just...shifting. The truth is, even with us all right, I am not as part of his weekly life as I once was.

In the other instance, I am the one shifting. She and I are completely all right. At the same time, I am aware that I don't think to reach out to her as often as she thinks to reach out to me. My instinct isn't to share the good, the bad, or the indifferent with her immediately any longer. She didn't do anything. I still love her. And she is no longer as much a part of my weekly life as she once was. And I can tell she knows it, too.

To a certain extent, I'm grateful for the shift within the first friendship, because it gives me some persepective on the second. I try to reach out a little more than I might, otherwise. As the second frienship gives me perspective on the first. I trust when he says I haven't done anything, because I know she hasn't done anything. It's just the ebb and flow of friendship.

Mostly, though, it makes me grateful for my friendships like the one with the FE. Sometimes there are flurries of emails. Sometimes, there are long stretches of silence. And either is all good. Eventually, we'll come back together. Until then, we know the other is out there.

Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.


MikeC said...

Perfect. Had an email from a friend today with whom I haven't gotten together in over a year. We're meeting for coffee Saturday. What's in the air?

BostonPobble said...

Mike Christie ~ Gotta love the holiday spirit. :)