Porn Store Post, Part One (reposting)

This was getting lost in the post about depression and I didn't want that to happen so here it is ~ reposted. :)


Several people have expressed interest in my time working at the porn store. One the one hand, it wasn't that much different from any other retail job. On the other hand...

I got the job, honestly, when I walked in as a customer. My roomie and I had gone in once before, it was right around the corner from our apartment, and my not-yet-ex-and-not-yet-asshole husband was overseas for a year. Reading material was in order. And the manager got to talking with me. Next thing I knew, I was a porn store clerk.

For all of my bravada, there was a part of me thinking "What the hell are you doing?????" At least we didn't have peep shows. Couldn't have done it with the peep shows. The end of my first day at work, however, even without the peep shows, I had been handcuffed by a coworker (demonstration purposes only), caught someone trying to use a stolen credit card, found someone huffing in the rental section, and discovered I knew absolutely nothing about strap-ons. I told my grandmother I worked at a video/magazine store.

By the end of my first month of work, I found myself alphabetizing videos muttering under my breath "Dammit, guys! 'Cunt Lickers' comes after 'Cunt Eaters'!!!" It had become a job. But I still told my grandmother I worked at a video/magazine store.

My nature is to do the best job I can do, whatever the project. Don't know anything about strap-ons? Okay ~ let's learn about strap-ons! I started educating myself about not only strap-ons but every thing and every genre in the store. I took home videos for Pizza and Porn nights. I read magazines. I learned about the toys. And somewhere along the line, I became the strap-on and bondage expert. To this day, I can tell you what makes a good strap-on and how to deal with chafing that can take erotic pain into Oh My God stop that Right Now I'm Not Fucking Joking. (Before you ask, know that I have to have some specific information about the individual's level of experience and pain tolerance before answering so don't ask unless you are willing to share some information about yourself!)

I always had to laugh at myself when I would forget where I worked. It only happened a handful of times in the year I was there. We would be opening inventory or rearranging display and I would think "Dear Lord! That's a nipp...Oh yeah. Right" and keep on moving.

Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.