Especially for Mrs. Pike and Slick

Lithus and I were walking down the street the other day and heard a song coming from the convertible stopped at the red light. It was a lovely ballad love song, with a nice hook, so I listened as we all waited for the light to change.

Shawty, I don’t mind If you dance on a pole
That don’t make you a ho
Shawty, I don’t mind when you work until three
If you’re leaving with me
Go make that money, money, money
Your money, money, money
Cause I know how it is, go and handle your biz
And get that money, money, money
Your money, money, money
You can take off your clothes
Long as you coming home, girl, I don’t mind

Writer(s): Matthew Shafer, Chad Hugo, Pharrell Williams, Drayton Goss, Michael Bradford
Copyright: Janice Combs Publishing Inc., Seven Peaks Music, Emi Blackwood Music Inc., Hoodlife Publishing, Gaje Music Inc., Gaje Music, Chaserayn Music Publishing LLC, Chunky Style Music, Warner-tamerlane Publishing Corp.

Now, I have to say ~ I respect the point of this song. I respect it great deal. That being said, you know the lovely ballad lovesong I'd really like someone to write?

One that goes more like this:

Woman, I don't care if you have a PhD

If you're highly educated and will out-earn me.

Cause I know how it is, go and handle your biz

I'll do the laundry, laundry, laundry.

You can wear your lab coat, or a suit

I'll always respect you and think you're cute

It's your whole package I adore,

You've worked hard all day, so I'll run to the store.

Writer: The Boston Pobble

But somehow...I don't think that's happening any time soon. Sadly.

Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.

I'll Drink to Him

By now you've heard about Germanwings flight 9525 that crashed into the French Alps, killing 150 people on board. And you've probably heard this morning's news ~ that the crash wasn't an accident. That the young co-pilot asked for control of the aircraft and locked the pilot-in-command out when he stepped out of the cockpit. Then, for reasons we may never know, that young second-in-command flew the aircraft and those 149 other people into the ground. 

Here in the US, when one of the pilots steps out of the cockpit, a member of the flight crew has to step in. No cockpit ever only has one person in it. That way, if the pilot in control has a medical emergency ~ or is suicidal ~ there is someone inside to open the cockpit door for the other pilot. Europe has (had, because you'd better believe they will now) no regulation to that effect. Pilots can leave one person in the cockpit without breaking regs. That nuance fed this situation. 

It was a hard morning here at Casa de Pobble when we read this news. Aviation tragedies are always tough in the homes of commercial pilots, if it's the same industry or not. There's a sense of losing some of one's own.

And to discover it was an intentional act committed by a professional pilot... sigh. That makes it personal in some way.

Pilots are guilty until proven innocent when lives are lost. The default is "pilot error" never "equipment failure." And even when equipment failure is discovered, the question "well, did they panic when it failed?" gets asked. We want someone to blame.

When it turns out to be entirely pilot error ~ not even error, but intent ~ the pilots I know take it personally. That one pilot has stained them all. Has put an asterisk next to every pilot's name.

This morning, though, this morning Lithus and I lifted our coffee mugs to another pilot. Not the SIC who took control and flew his aircraft into the ground. But to the pilot in command. 

According to the latest reports, the pilot in command (PIC), who didn't break regs by leaving the cockpit, can be heard over an intercom trying to get the SIC to open the door. Then he can be heard knocking on the door. Then he can be heard trying to break the door down. He, a man who more than most understood that nothing and no one could get through that door, kept trying. 

If the reports are correct, and I hope they are, he didn't break the trust of his passengers and crew. He fought for control of his aircraft as hard as if he had been sitting in the cockpit, fighting an equipment failure. He didn't quit. He didn't stop. He didn't fail.

So I ask you, dear friends of Pobble, to remember that pilot. Who didn't break trust and went down with his ship trying to save lives, even knowing it was futile. Because those really are the men and women in our skies, even if we don't think about them much.

Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.

It's Spring

We've made it through winter, my friends. Yes, I know for many of my readers, there's snow falling and on its ways. But that's just weather. The reality is Spring is here. 

I've always felt that if one was going to make resolutions, today was a far better day to do so than New Year's. That's just a random turning of the calendar page. Today has far more going for it in terms of fresh starts and new beginnings.

So happy Ostara, dear ones. Blessed be.

Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.

Yep, That Kinda Sucked

Remember there was all this excitement because there was Mardi Gras? And then there was Starbuck's visit. And there was this great build up and then you heard about, oh, I don't know, absolutely none of it? Yeah...

Mardi Gras was fun. Starbuck's visit was ah-fucking-mayzing. There was the amusement with the cabbie. Then, that afternoon, the Canadian parent company walked into the American branch where Lithus worked and shut it down. Effectively immediately. With absolutely no warning whatsoever. Before Starbuck's plane had ever left NOLA.

We were shocked. If anything, there had been serious indications that things were going better than expected just 2 weeks before. Then *boom*. The American branch of this helicopter company was no more. Just like that, we no longer worked with Country Boy or M-O-M. Once again, unemployed. One more paycheck, followed by a 2 week severance. Medical insurance would run out at the end of March. Done and done.

Plus, did I mention we no longer work with Country Boy and M-O-M? Yeah...

Lithus is impressive though, and has some really solid contacts in the industry. All's well again. He was employed by the end of that week. And as of today, health insurance has been figured out. It was that last stressor that still had me spun up (although I didn't even realize it until we had everything in line and suddenly I released a breath I didn't even know I was holding).

Here's the thing though ~ how often have I written this story? How often have I told you this exact same thing? It doesn't get any easier to live through, but shit, I'm really tired of telling this story. Even if you're not tired of hearing it.

The ending is happy. Employed. Insured. Safe and well. But the last month? Yeah, that kinda sucked.

Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.

Questions For You...

Big Ol' Edited To Add here ~ while I appreciate greatly my phone, text, and email blowing up with concerned readers, let me assure you I am okay! Lithus is okay! We are okay!

I'm not even looking for advice, or support. It really is just about my wondering about other people's thoughts on their lives and how they handle their own experiences.

***

And I do hope some of you answer, because I'm intrigued to know other people's thoughts on this.

At what point do you say "enough"? Is there ever too much? When you can no longer understand, accept, not judge, adapt to the situation? When do you realize you have to walk away from a person, relationship, or situation? And do you consider it a defeat to do so ~ or is it taking back your power?

So much right up in my face these days.

Those are Pobble Questions. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.

From 2 to 3

For about 10 nights now, I have been awake from approximately 2:00 am to approximately 3:00 am. Being a nightowl, this isn't usually a problem. Except that I haven't been awake intentionally during that hour any of these nights.

Generally, I go to bed between midnight and 1:00 am. Wake up between 8:00 am and 8:30 am. Only for the last week and a half, there's been that hour-long interlude stuck in there.

Nothing going on. My brain wasn't whirling. My stress wasn't stressing. Nothing was hurting or uncomfortable. I was just awake.

Last night, I finally took Lithus' advice and took a benedryl. 

Oh.
My.
God.

Sleep is a good thing, people. Today, I have been energetic. Productive. Peaceful. Witty. Sharp.

Did I know the sleep schedule was taking its toll? Of course. But I had no idea just how much. 

Sleep: it comes highly recommended.

Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.

STOP!

STOP killing men of color like Anthony (Tony) Robinson.

STOP killing men of color like Ahmed Al-Jumaili.

STOP killing women of color like Penny Proud.

What the fuck is wrong with us as white people? That we are accepting this in our society? That we are accepting this in each other? That we somehow think killing other people is an appropriate response to...what? The threat of an unarmed black man? The delight in an Iraqi seeing snow for the first time? A transwoman walking down the street?

Yes, those are dangerous, dangerous individuals. Shoot to kill. Protect yourself.

What the fuck is wrong with us.

Just...stop. And shame on you, me, us, that we even have to be told to stop in the first place.

Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.

My Own Personal M.O.

Generally speaking, I'm pretty damn self-aware. So none of this surprises me. However, every now and then, stuff gets right up in my face. When that happens, I am amused at how really consistent I am, regardless of the specific situation.

1. I have a lot of questions ~ at first. When I am going into something new, I don't float well. I don't wait and see well. I want to know what's happening, what are the expectations of me, what expectations should I have, HOW IS THIS GOING TO WORK DAMMIT! And I want to know this about any big, new thing. 

When a new relationship would get serious ~ how often will I call? how often will he call? are we at a daily thing? what about a weekly thing? morning and night? 
A new job ~ when exactly does it start? when exactly do I get paid? what are my editors' expectations? what tone, voice, and word count? what do they have in their heads that they are looking for me to recreate?
Lithus gets a new job ~ when does it start? what is his pay? when will it come? what are the variables? is there a schedule?

Here's the other shoe, though: once I have my feet under me, I can disappear. I can become so settled and confident that I look like I don't care. There can be total radio silence, and I'm okay with that. Because I have a sense of what I can expect. But until my questions are answered, yeah, I'm a bit of a mess and I know this.

2. Once I love someone, unless there is a falling out, I will always love them. Now, if there's a falling out, I make no promises, But if it's just time, distance, and falling out of touch? Nope. If I loved you once, I love you now.

I've recently been texting with an old friend. Someone I used to like and love and consider my family. We haven't seen each other in at least 10 years, maybe longer. We are in sporadic touch via text and email ~ and "sporadic" is being generous. The truth is that he and I don't know each other any longer. I have no idea if I like this man or not. Nor does he have any reason (to my knowledge) to know if he likes me or not.

But the fact is ~ I love him. I love him as much as when we saw each other daily. As much as when we were chatting from Colorado to the east coast because he was working nights and the time difference made it perfect. As much as I always have. 

Because once I love you, if I still know you or not, if I still know if I like you or not, is kind of irrelevant.

3. I like closure. And not just in the obvious ways where someone pulls me into a big situation and then forgets to tell me how it turned out.

I like when someone I've been working on one piece of a project comes back when it's completely over and lets me know that the whole thing came together well. Or didn't. Or whatever. So much so that I have to remember most people really don't care. When I've been emailing and phone calling with someone over a situation, once they pass it along to the next level, I really don't need to email them when it finally resolved ~ but I LOVE it when someone comes back to me and says "hey, this got resolved finally." 

I like knowing about the young man who was our banker in Spokane. I wonder if he ever finished school and made it to the UAE as a fire fighter, the way he was hoping. 

Little things that other people don't care about, so don't think to tell me about, but that I will be curious about...forever.

Again, none of it is a surprise. All of it is very, very current right now.

Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.