10 Things I Hate...
Here's the deal ~ there are certain things people hate. War, famine, poverty, injustice ~ those kinds of things. While I hate those, they are not the kinds of things I'm talkng about here. (And it's my blog so I get to make the rules) Also, it's pretty much a given that I hate the things that are in direct opposition to the things I'm addicted to, e.g. poor grammar, no coffee, being hot...you get the idea. That's not what I'm talking about here, either. Nor am I talking about the obvious stuff that people know I hate; mushrooms, fish, spiders, that kind of thing.
So what am I talking about?
I'm talking about this:
1. Ear infections. I hate ear infections. While no one likes them, I imagine anyway, I believe my loathing of ear infections is rather disproportionate. Not nearly enough is being done to rid the world of the plague that is Ear Infections. At one point, the Peanuts gang decide to throw a charity baseball game to benefit stomach aches. That's how I feel about ear infections. Where's Charlie Brown when you need him?
2. Women in the Wrong Shoes. Perhaps that should be the WRONG SHOES. Let's be clear on this, ladies. If your toes hang off the end of your shoes then YOUR SHOES DON'T FIT. If your toes are overlapping, YOUR SHOES DON'T FIT. I don't care if you WANT to have a size 6 foot. You don't. And if you have to walk flat-footed, YOUR HEELS ARE TOO HIGH. I don't care how good they look with the outfit; you are spoiling the look by not being able to walk in the heels. Lower the suckers by an inch and walk like you mean it, Baby!
3. Parking meters that only take quarters. When did this happen? Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, you could get away with having a pocket-full of change and not get ticketed. Now, if you have already used your quarters in the soda machine, the laundry mat, and the pay phone, you are screwed when it comes to parking.
4. Going pee. Now, this is a strange thing to hate and going pee certainly beats not going pee. It's just SUCH a waste of time! There you are, happily doing whatever you're doing and *POOF* suddenly you have to pee. Everything stops while you go take care of that. Momentum dies. Thoughts get lost. Conversations get stopped. The earth flies off its axis and all is for naught. Yeah, I'm exaggerating on that last one. Still, this is the true reason TIVO was invented. Being able to watch a show at midnight instead of at 7:00 am? That is a side benefit. The real reason is peeing.
5. Holes in nature. Let me explain: barnacles, open seed pods, the freaky ends of blueberries. Those kinds of holes in nature. I shudder even thinking about them. In fact, let's move on...
6. Slow drivers in the left lane. People! You have other lanes! Move your slow-driving butts over! This is not rocket science!
7. Men in lavender. You know, call me sexist; call me closed-minded. Tell me I'm feeding into gender stereotypes. If not liking men in lavender makes me those things then I am guilty. Light blue, pale yellow, even a nice rose color is fine. Hell, I even know guys who can get away with peach. But I don't like men in lavender. And I didn't qualify it. I don't like straight men in lavender. I don't like gay men in lavender. I don't like men in lavender. If you have a penis, I think you look silly in lavender.
8. Actors who speak. This is not the same thing as actors who deliver lines. Actors deliver lines beautifully. That's what actors do. But most actors, God love 'em, can't put three coherent sentences together on their own. Act! We love you when you act. Just please, keep yo9ur mouths shut otherwise.
9. Being on the phone. I truly hate being on the phone. If I had my way, the only reason I would use the phone would be in three minute increments to arrange to get together in person with the person on the other line. I don't like talking on the phone. I don't like the phone ringing. I don't like making making phone calls. Hell, I don't even want to be the one to call in the pizza delivery (and I love pizza delivery!).
10. Multiplying by zero. Full disclosure, this phrase is not mine. It does, however, sum up how I feel completely so I have borrowed it. If I have seven oranges and you come along and multiply them by zero...WHERE DID MY ORANGES GO????? WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THEM????? Multiplying by zero just shouldn't be.
Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.
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