Friday, January 24, 2014

Facebook or Friendship Frustration

A close acquaintance is upset with me. Apparently, there has been stuff going on with this person on facebook and I haven't been supportive of my close acquaintance. Ummm... except I am hardly ever on facebook. I go for days without logging on at all. When I do log on, it's to update Pauline's status with something (usually) completely innocuous, and writing or romance related, before logging back off again. That is not where I choose to hang out.

Now, I realized a long time ago that I was going to miss things because I don't hang out at the right club. And yes, I have had friendships suffer because I am not facebook often, or substantially. But I am not unavailable. I can be found via email (several in fact), text, here, or good old fashioned phone calling. If you don't reply when I text or email you, if the only place you are willing to be is on facebook, if it "doesn't count" unless it's on facebook, that's not my problem. You don't get to judge me - as a bad or a good friend - just because I don't want to spend my time on that particular playground. And you don't get to judge my support of you - or your friends, family, cause, career, life - if you are unwilling to make sure I know you need my support. If you tell me you're hurting and I drop the ball, judge away. But if the only place you're willing to share, the only place a response matters to you, is on facebook, no, you don't get to judge me for that.

And yes, if I am given the opportunity, I will express all of this to the person in question. But not on facebook.

Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.


Lori Stewart Weidert said...

Remember back in the day when all we had to communicate with was a hard-wired phone...and there was sort of the same "issues" between people that expected you always to answer the matter if it was dinner time or bed time, or what have you? And those of us that stood firm: a ringing phone is a request, not a demand. The more things change, the more they remain the same, huh?

BostonPobble said...

Lori ~ Yes! The insistence that you can't be a good friend if you aren't willing to jump to their demands! Exactly!