Shhhh....here's my secret...I'm in the middle of an episode. It's a very mild one ~ hey, I've gone this long in it and you're just now finding out, right? So mild it is and that's nice. It is, however, here. Right on schedule. When this happens, the best way to describe it is it gets noisy in my head. I am more prone than usual to being overwhelmed to the point of freezing. And there is never any way to tell what is going to be the final thing that I can't manage.
Today, I got new car insurance, dealt with credit card stuff, paid bills, researched getting an emissions test and new driver's license, made arrangements to get said emissions test and driver's license, wrote and submitted the proposal for the next book and handled an editor. I supported Lithus through some crazy-ex-wife stuff, anxiety induced illness in Timber, a background check that has taken a left turn, getting a GAL, finding a counselor for Timber as a prerequisite to getting a GAL and negotiating legalese.
So when did I lose my mind? When it came time to make a hair appointment. I haven't gotten my hair done since I was living with Crow Mother. Folks, that was October. Remember that grey streak I told you about a couple posts ago? Yeah...it's in its full glory. So, it is definitely time. Time because of vanity and time because it makes me happy.
I. Couldn't. Do. It.
Calling around, explaining what I needed, asking for prices, asking who was good with curly hair...too much. I simply froze. The noise got louder and louder until there was nothing but noise. One he realized what was going on, my dear wonderful Lithus wrapped me up and said "We're done for the day. It's time to slow down. I'll do this." And he did.
My appointment is tomorrow at 11:00 a.m.
The noise is very quiet again. It's a very mild episode. I'm a very lucky woman.
Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.
17 comments:
Awe, good Lithus! And I'm sending you a long hug. I miss you, my friend. Glad he's taking care of you.
Oh honey. How good is that? You deserve to be treated so fabulously.
Whew! I'm glad all is well...what a relief to sometimes be able to have help in a time of need.
Graziella ~ I'll take the cyberhug and wish it could be in person too.
Traci ~ Yeah, I do. ;)
Tai ~ Whew, indeed. And thanks.
he really is a good egg. thanks lithus for being so wonderful!
btw, another 8 letter word verification. and why the *%&^ do they call it a "word." it is NOT a word!
love you
YAY LITHUS!
And don't forget Pobble, you are part of that survival equasion too. You are a strong, amazing woman whose to-do list puts mine to absolute shame.
And I know it's not about todo lists and garden variety stress. Having someone who accepts you AND supports you for the good times and bad - at least to me - that's the part that warms my heart for you.
Here's a bunch of hugs for all three of you.
Just reading all of those tasks sounds draining, so actually doing them must be infinitely more difficult.
I think we all have breaking points where things turn sideways, but a little help goes a long way towards helping.
Hope you enjoyed the appointment.
Glad all is quieter now. Salva nos from the inside of our own heads. All hail Lithus. The more we hear, the more he sounds like a keeper. Take care of yourself.
Noise in the head- static cling! Youch! A good hug from a good guy helps!
Yummy grey streaks, lol. But yeah...as one of my friends at college would say, "F*ck that noise..." It seemd to fit.
Lovely Cats ~ A strange bird but a good egg. ;) I will hate not-really-word verification with you. BOO On Them!
Zooom ~ I know you get it. Thanks for everything. Hugs right back to you.
$$ ~ That was the crazy part - I managed the truly exhausting stuff just fine. It was the "easy" thing that got me. Go figure. And the appointment ~ and my resulting hair ~ was wonderful, thanks.
GOML! ~ Yeah, the world hands us enough crap as it is; when I hit these times and my own head is adding to it...ickies. As for Lithus, I'm thinking I'll be keeping him so it's nice to be in agreement.
Akakarma ~ Oooo! You got it in one! And yeah, the good hug from the good man helped A LOT. You got that one, too!
Dreamer ~ Fuck that noise (I'll say it for you)...yep, that works. I'll have to use that one, with thanks to your and your friend!
I am so, so, so glad you live with someone who gets it! Good for Lithus!
It was very hard for L'Ailee to understand the concept of "panic attacks," but she's good about it now, TTG. I didn't know you had them, too. *hug*
CrackerLilo ~ Mine is a cyclical depression that I move through until I can't any longer. The hair appointment was the "I can't any longer" moment. So, it's not anxiety attacks per se ~ and whatever label gets put on it, it's No Fun! Lithus had a hard time when we first got together as well and, like L'Ailee, he's getting pretty good at understanding them. TTG for both of them, huh?
{{{Pobble}}} I wish I could be there for you. But you are truly blessed to have Lithus with you to help you through!!!
that sounds like you had a tough time,I am glad its over.
I found a web site about a doc who studies the brain and was having a stroke herself. the video clip is fascinating. it taught me a great deal about our brain and which part of the brain does what. Some time we need to just shut down rest.
check out the site if you have time
http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/229
Oh honey, you can have mine - I don't use it very much anyway.
Maybe we were separated at birth, cause I can handle some pretty big stuff, and then be completely undone by a simple chore.
Hugs.
Krystal ~ Hugs back to you! With thanks.
Nancy ~ Interesting. I'll have to check out the site!
D-Man ~ Amazing how it works that way sometimes, isn't it?
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