Sex, Sex and More Sex

First, please notice that this is not my only post today. Be sure to scroll down and wish the Lovely Cats a happy birthday.

Now ~ to the sex. In my experience, there are four different forms of sexual encounters:

First, the Casual Hookup. This is usually between total strangers and is relatively self-explanatory. It tends to be a one-time thing but can evolve into...

Friends with Benefits. This is where two people get together for "no strings sex" on a more regular basis than the Casual Hookup allows. The relationship is almost entirely based on sex even if there is hanging out and enjoying each others' company going on before and or after the sex.

Third, is partner sex. This is the Big One. This is where you are actually in love with the person you are with and they with you. It can be slow and gentle or it can be hard, fast and up against the wall. The point is the people involved are commited and, if not in love, heading that way rapidly and at the same pace. This is the intimacy that people often confuse with sex.

Fourth is Friend Sex. This is the tough one. And it is not the same as Friends with Benefits. This begins with deep, platonic love and affection. Both people care deeply for the other one but they aren't partners and have no desire to be partners. The relationship does not revolve around the sex. In fact, sometimes there is only one sexual encounter. The sex actually becomes an extension of the friendship yet once the sex part ends, the friendship and love do not.

I could really use a shot of that fourth one right about now, I gotta be honest. The ex is at it again. The biofamily is at it again. And I have had successful ~ incredibly successful, actually ~ Friend Sex in the past. It's great when you want more than the first two but aren't ready/don't have the third. Kinda like now. Problem is I don't have a friend with whom to have Friend Sex. I could have a Casual Hookup. I could have a Friend with Benefits. I could have a partner in order to have Partner Sex but I'm not ready for that right now. Let's get healthy and past the divorce, shall we?

So, I find myself wishing I had a friend for Friend Sex. Before you ask ~ Chuck and I don't know each other well enough; he would be somewhere between a Casual Hookup and a Friend with Benefits. My Dear One is 20 and virginal. Since the goal is neither to scare nor initiate, he's out. Plus, did I mention he's 20? And if you are thinking about the Muppet, I have two words: incest and ewwwww! Okay, there isn't shared DNA but there might as well be so it's still gross. Which leaves me without Friend Sex. I will, of course, adjust. I'll get over it and get to the point where one of the other three forms of sex is what I'm looking for. It won't, however, be Friend Sex. And right now, that's a shame.

Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.

Happy Birthday, Lovely Cats!

Today is the Lovely Cats' birthday.

I have been honored to have her as my sister and friend for 21 years. Just recently, I found several old pictures of her and us. We range in age from 15 and 16 (respectively) to 20 and 21. We were hot stuff ~ and we've only gotten better.

No one knows me as well. No one supports me as completely. No one kicks me in the ass as effectively. No one makes me feel more loved. No one annoys me as consistently. No one has seen me through more. No one can piss me off as deeply. No one gives me more joy. I thank the Goddess every day of my life that the Lovely Cats is in this world ~ and particularly mine.


Go tell her happy birthday. She deserves it.

FindingAvalon3

Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty will get you tea with the teabag and spoon left in it.

The Last Mango in Paris

I am often told I am interesting. I ~ not so humbly ~ agree. I am interesting. I've been lucky enough to live an adventurous, creative, interesting life. Partly it was luck, being in the right place at the right time &/or knowing the right people. Partly it was my own doing. And a good chunk of it is because I would rather regret doing something than regret not doing something.

Some of the things I've done:

• rappelled 200 feet
• sassed Joe Kennedy (I'm from the South; I didn't recognize him)
• worked in the slums of India
• participated in a March for Jesus through the streets of a Caribbean island
• written for national newsletters
• attended formal events that were not school sponsored or weddings
• drank free mudslides in the Caribbean
• heard the screams of wild gorillas
• performed CPR
• been followed by KGB agents
• cleaned egg from my car for being an "Arab-lover"
• been backstage of Broadway shows
• been a go-go dancer
• facilitated trainings and given speaks for 100+ people
• attended rallies and protests
• snorkeled in open water
• gone to trapezee school
• received flowers from a German bellhop on his day off
• gone bouldering, rock climbing, and mountaineering
• worked in the ghettos of the US
• celebrated New Year's with locals at a tourist spot
• taken acting classes from a member of the Royal Shakespearean Company
• gone to strip clubs
• ridden with a Hell's Angel
• knelt at Ghandi's tomb
• sassed a two-star general (I knew exactly who he was)
• received standing ovations
• gotten into fist fights
• eaten figs on the coast of the Adriatic Sea
• been resuscitated (but I can't spell it)
• destroyed threatening notes accusing me of being a "Nigger lover"
• walked hand in hand through the gardens of Versailles with a boy I never saw again
• been denied a visa to Pakistan for being "possibly subversive"
• discombobulated a full-bird colonel
• befriended gang members
• had coffee and conversation with Michael Dukkakis
• skinny dipped
• been questioned at Checkpoint Charlie

Not bad for 36 years old. Can't wait to see what comes next.

Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.

I Don't Wanna

I don't want to post again. I like having my weekend in the basement be the post I see every time I call up Pobble Thoughts. I like having the five of us there and being able to re-read it whenever I miss one or all of them. And yes, I can scroll down but it's not the same.

However...life does go on. We can't freeze it, even for the happy stuff. So I'm breaking the ice for myself by posting this non-post. Thank you all for your lovely comments about my picture.

Those are Pobble Thoughts ~ although not very interesting ones. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.

The Boys in the Band

Allow me to introduce to you...

on bass ~ The Muppet













on slow hands ~ Chuck








behind the bar ~ the Grill Master.













And since no band is complete without groupies:

The Divine M:
















and me, the Pobble herself:







I love my family.

The weekend in the basement was simply amazing. The Grill Master and the Muppet got on so famously that the Divine M and I aren't sure either man will allow me to return if the Muppet isn't with me. The Poo, who is now (shockingly) three, couldn't get her head around the fact that we were actually saying "Mr. Muppet." She called him "Mr. Muffin" until the day we left.

Saturday night, she went to an aunt's house so the adults could have some grown-up time. Dancing, drinking, shooting pool, conversation, enough food to feed a small country, and so much laughter.

We have decided I am not a small, white woman but am actually a large, black man. We discovered that steak with a side dish of meat makes for a very tasty dinner. We agreed the only phrase funnier than "Mr. Muffin" is "Have you ever been to County?" We learned that Chuck with a beer mug trumps three guys with pool cues. We established that the Grill Master's friends tend to weep like babies when Chuck and a beer mug aren't around to protect them. We confirmed that family is about heart and love and loyalty and is wherever you are lucky enough to find them.

It was the happiest I've been in a very long time.

I love my family.

Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.

RJ Update

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your thoughts and concern. I will make sure my Dear One gets them. RJ is his cousin. It's public now so I don't feel like I am betraying a confidence by saying that.

At this point, RJ is back on chemo and doing reasonably well. Mostly, according to my Dear One, he's really pissed. We figure that's a good sign. ;) Doctors aren't willing to commit to much more than "Let's see what happens with this round of chemo" at this point. It's a slow, frustrating time for the family. However, as my Dear One and his Momma say, if having RJ around means being frustrated with doctors, they'll take being frustrated with doctors!

Those are Pobble Thoughts ~ and Pobble Thanks. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.

Not the Post I Expected

This isn't a post about the weekend in the basement. That will come ~ as it deserves to come. This is a prayer request.

His name is RJ. He is the cousin of one of my dearest friends. He is 10 years old. Last winter, doctors discovered a tumor the size of a small grapefruit wrapping around his liver. He has been on chemo ever since. Today, the doctors attempted to remove the tumor only to discover it is attached to an artery. RJ lost a lot of blood and the tumor is currently believed to be inoperable. My friend will be in touch as he and the family learn more and I will keep you posted. Meanwhile, please, please pray, in whatever form that takes in your life. If you call it casting or prayer or sending warm fuzzies, I believe that it works. Feel free to fwd this post on as an email, link to it, post it on church/temple bulletin boards, announce it in bible study, offer it in your Circle ~ whatever.

Thank you.

Those are Pobble Thoughts and Pobble Prayers.

Back to the Basement

So, I'm off to the Basement for the weekend. Everyone be safe, be well, be happy and have fun. Expect the next few posts to be overly sentimental, emotional and overflowing with love for my family. I apologize in advance for any insulin attacks I cause. I do love these people...

Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.

If It Walks Like a Pobble...

I am virtually unrecognizable.

Yesterday my mother acted like my mother. A year ago, I would have been in tears on the phone to one of my dear friends. Yesterday, I said "Okay. Talk to you later" and forgot all about it until right now.

Sunday, I bought a carton of smokes. Opened the first pack Monday morning. Just now (Wednesday at nearly 5 o'clock in the evening) opened the second one.

This morning, I pulled my jeans out of my dresser and was distressed by the fact that they were a little tight. I thought I had been closer to getting into my 14s than this. Until I realized these are my 14s.

While I cannot completely rule out alien invasion and/or kidnapping, I think it's probably just happiness. And happiness is really not overrated.

Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.

Oh God No

PIERRE, S.D. - Gov. Mike Rounds signed legislation Monday banning nearly all abortions in South Dakota, setting up a court fight aimed at challenging the 1973 U.S. Supreme Court decision that legalized abortion.
The bill would make it a crime for doctors to perform an abortion unless the procedure was necessary to save the woman’s life. It would make no exception for cases of rape or incest.
Planned Parenthood, which operates the state’s only abortion clinic, in Sioux Falls, has pledged to challenge the measure in court.

Those are Pobble Fears. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.

My New Best Friend

Yep, I have a new best friend. And I can hear you now: What about the Divine M? Or your Muppet? Yes, they will always have a special place in my heart. But neither of them can compete with this ~




My new best friend. My dishwasher. But it's not just a dishwasher. It's a countertop dishwasher. Which means it is small. Which means it is perfect for me and just me. Which means I don't have to fill a full-sized dishwasher to feel comfortable running it. Which means putting the dishes away doesn't take an hour. Yes, my countertop dishwasher. My new best friend.

Trust me, the Divine M and the Muppet understand.

Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.

Saturday Ramblings

1. The lead singer of INXS is J.D. Fortune. That's just for Jaded. :)

2. This morning I woke up to an email from an ex. We broke up years ago. It started "Why do I still long for you?" Looks like I'm somebody's One Who Got Away.

3. This coming weekend, the Muppet and I are heading to the Divine M's and the Grill Master's house. Three of my favorite people together in one of my favorite places. I feel like a kid counting down until Christmas. Expect to hear more.

4. My doggie, Daisy, had a tumor removed from her butt. Yesterday we learned it was benign. TTG! This morning, she decided to celebrate by digging through my dirty laundry and wearing a pair of my underwear as a hat. I have no idea how long this went on before she chose to join me in the office. I am sorry I couldn't find my camera.

Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.

INXS?

My musical tastes have always been eclectic. I admit it. I love everything from bubblegum (think the Archies ~ seriously Bubblegum) to hard rock; classical to house; international where I have no clue what language they are singing in let alone what they are singing to 80s pop where I know the language but the words still don't make sense (have you listened to some of those songs????). Loreena McKinnit and Metallica, thank you very much. And, of course, my beloved big band/swing. However, my current favorite c.d. has taken even me by surprise.

Even during the 90s when they were at their pinnacle, I wasn't a huge INXS fan. Their stuff was okay. I wouldn't change the station when their music came on but I never bought a single tape either. I can't tell you the name of the original lead singer although I do know he committed suicide. And you now know everything I have known about INXS up until now.

Several weeks ago, the Lovely Cats gave me the new INXS c.d. I'm hooked. I'm hooked like I was hooked when I first heard AC/DC scream. Like I was hooked the first time I heard Frank croon. Like the first time I heard Vivaldi soar. And I can't tell you why (although I'm sure Jaded would tell you it's because of the new singer, J.D. ... Someone.)

I've learned that, even when I'm shocked by something, I should just roll with it. Good things often come unexpectedly and not giving into them because they are new or they "aren't me" doesn't serve me. So, I'm rolling with it. And letting myself listen to this c.d. as often as I want ~ although I'm sure the puppies are a little tired of it by now. But hey, I'm the one with opposable thumbs so I get to make the rules around the house!

At least I still can't tell you what the lead singer's name is. I'm taking comfort in that fact.

Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.