An Iota of Peace

Roark was, apparently, flying, after all. I don't know how to explain why this makes it easier if you don't understand instinctively. Just know that it does.

Pobble Thoughts may become a little single-tracked for a bit while I process through all of this. While we learn more of what happened. Or, I may stop posting for a little while. I'm not sure which way it will go. Bear with me, please. We're just very, very sad out here.

I'm ready to learn what happened. I'm like that. I want to know. I want the details. I need the full picture before I can move on. The one thing I already know ~ and Lithus knows as well ~ regardless of what is proven, regardless of what comes out of the investigation or eye witness accounts or anything else, Roark died on impact. Two of the men who survived were on fire when they escaped from the helicopter. The burning jet fuel is still making it difficult to approach the wreckage. So Roark died on impact. Period. I know this. As for the rest, I'm ready to learn that. But how he actually died I already know. Because it has to have been this way. So it was.

At the same time, I'm ready to have him back now. Okay, this has been an interesting, not terribly fun, bit of excitement in the week. Let's get back to reality and stop the joke. It's time for the investigators to say "Actually, we haven't found as many bodies as we expected. We have, however, heard singing and have spotted a campfire down the hill aways so we're checking that out." And there he will be. It's not going to happen, and I do know that. But I'm ready for it to. Because you spend all day worried. And then you spend all day on the phone and in tears and glued to the internet news updates. And then you finally get your arms around your fella. And you make love. And you cry together. And you actually get a good night's sleep in each other's arms. And you wake up...and it's still there. That sinking in your stomach. And the burn right behind your eyes. And the lump in your throat. So it's time for all this to be over and us to start telling stories again.

She got in touch with us. Lithus had looked for her email or phone number and hadn't been able to find it. We were so grateful that she thought to write him. It was horrible telling her but now she knows. And no one had told her anything. She's not official. She wasn't in the loop. She is now because we know how very happy she made him, how very much he loved her. That puts her in the loop in our book, regardless of whatever label she officially carried. I can't imagine how horrible yesterday must have been for her. Today is worse...and better.

Those are Pobble Thoughts. I don't know what any of it will get you.