Hard to believe not too long ago I was given an award for being a fun read, isn't it? But the amazing thing is life does indeed continue. There are books to write and a city to explore and friends to make and laughter to share. Even now. I'm hoping this will be the last Roark post for a while. Sure, there will probably be some scattered in now and then. And you should probably bet on there being at least one around the funeral (early September) but as for this series...I think, I hope, this will be the last.
So here's where we are...(with thanks to the two guys who will recognize this because it is, mostly, an email I sent to them): We have actually gotten enough information for us to be able to begin to move on. It's unofficial but believed to be accurate. And it's the kind of thing that may not mean anything to the general public but speaks volumes to us.
1. The takeoff was slow. This probably (by a HUGEMONGOUS margin) means there was something mechanical going on that Roark would've been trying to compensate for when he hit the trees. Simply because it was the third trip means nothing. Everything can be fine ~ until it isn't. Something did indeed cause him to hit the trees. He didn't ... just hit them.
2. The helicopter landed on its left side. The left side is the side the pilot rides on. Which means he was killed on impact or, at a minimum, was knocked so far into unconsciousness that the flames wouldn't have hurt him. Which we already knew because, as I'd said before, it's the only reality I will accept.
3. Roark was indeed the command pilot during the flight. This takes pilot error or arrogant flying almost completely out of the picture. Could Roark have fucked up? Of course. He was human. Is it likely? Not at all. Not doing this.
4. "She" knows Lithus and I are out here, know about her and will be there for her whenever/however she needs us. Roark would have expected nothing less from Lithus and we wouldn't have offered anything less to Roark.
So. These four things help. The official report will (hopefully) fill in some of the details in time. For now, these things help.
A major gathering is taking place here in a few days. Lithus and I have decided to skip it. They are expecting 3000 people or more to honor all nine of the men killed. It's a great idea. I'm glad they're doing it. And it feels ... wrong somehow. To both of us. While there will certainly be people who go for the purpose it's being held, I can also see people going because ooo, I wonder if so-and-so will be there. I haven't seen him in a while. sure, I'll go. And that's not really anything we care to join right now. We're invited to the private service. That's the one that we will attend. That feels right.
There have been several requests for at least one story. Here's my favorite (that can be shared): Last fall, I went to CA to be with Lithus while he was on tour. Roark rotated in and we were all very pleased about it. The pilot who rotated out is a really good guy but he's not Roark. Every flight, I stand by the fuel truck and watch the bird take-off. Rotor wash is whipping around. Santa Ana winds are whipping around. It's very noisy and yes, a little romantic in a WWII kind of way. Lithus even blows me a kiss out the bubble every time he is in the left seat, just as he flies away. (command-level pilots take turns being pilot or co-pilot or else a 14 hour day can get really boring) So, this one flight, Roark is up and flying; Lithus is in the right seat. And I realize Roark's hovering. Not moving, just hovering over the tarmac, looking down at me. As Lithus tells it, they've been hovering so long even *he* is aware that Roark is just hovering. Suddenly, I realize why.
The winds have blown my shirt up over my bra but below my chin so I haven't been aware of it. The whole time Roark's been hovering, I've been flashing him. I pull my shirt down, start to laugh and he, the rogue, laughs back and blows me a kiss just as he flies away. And that's how I like to remember him. Laughing, blowing me a kiss and flying away.
Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty...well...we're getting there, anyway.
7 comments:
Just hang in there beautiful. It's not easy but just take it one day at a time.
That's all any of us can do.
That sounds like a perfect way to remember your friend.With him taking a 'sneak peak'.
Life does continue and it great to remember the fun times but I know its a hard thing to do.
I will be thinking of you Linus and your friends.
What a great story and a great memory to have of him. Thinking of you and Lithus.
Your story serves as a reminder that life truely is beautiful. :)
Sounds like a great memory. Write them all down as they come to you, friend.
The mind has a way of making the best parts better and I can only imagine the joy it gave him to be flashed by a beautiful woman!! I think the private ceremony will mean more to you and in a much more intimate setting you can remember the man and how he lived with a handful of people that loved him not 3000 rubber neckers. You know I love you BOTH and you are in my thoughts and prayers. continue to be good to one another.
The Divine M
Memories keep him alive, at least a little bit.
I'm glad you know more, too, and glad you and Lithus are finding healing.
*hug*
Post a Comment