Everyone is saying something different and the reports keep changing and contradicting themselves. There was an NTSB press conference again today and we couldn't find it anywhere because the Northwest News Channel didn't bother to run it. The crash is, after all, old news now. It took place three whole days ago. Everyone has moved on. Except for those of us who still want to know what the fuck happened to our friends.
The voice recorder has been found. TTG. I pray it will have Roark's voice as pilot on it. Anything else is unthinkable.
I'm amazed at how often I think about him in daily life. Not around this. Just in life. Today, I was looking for an old post to show Lithus. The thought process went like this: I need to show him that post...he'll love the vest...I found that vest online once...I wonder if I can still find it...I better be able to find it because I'll need it when Lithus, Roark and I start flying cargo...oh, right. Just Monday I had sent the Divine M the picture of the two of them that I have posted down below, telling her what a great picture it was of my two favorite pilots and that I wanted to get it blown up to hang it in the new place. Over the weekend, I had come up with a storyline for a new novel; the hero is a pilot. I named him Roark. I decided to wait until I heard back from my agent to make sure the plot was good before getting in touch with him and saying "hey, let's write this!" The email from my agent came back as I was reading the first article that dared to call him presumed dead. Couldn't put it in a book or no one would believe me.
I'm struck, too, as I look back on these posts at how nonchalant the first one is. "Dammit, Roark. Come on, friend. Prayers please." It wasn't more because, even as I posted it, I thought "You are going to feel so foolish when he's fine and comes wandering out of the woods." Because that's really what we all expected to have happen. I seriously wasn't concerned. This was Roark. Who took a job in Rio and proceeded to disappear. Do his work, cash his checks, but disappear nonetheless because he was enjoying Rio too much to do anything but do his work and cash his checks and enjoy Rio. Lithus and I were thisclose to taking bets on if he would ever come back. So ... so what if he was "unaccounted for"? Roark lived his life unaccounted for. Accountable yet unaccounted for. He was Roark.
He was bigger than life and twice as handsome. He spent his life being called an enigma. But, as I wrote here just last fall, he wasn't one, not if your paradigm is large enough to accept Roark in it.
God, I'm ready for some answers. Ready to start to heal. Right now, we are just sitting around, trying to stay busy and pretending we aren't waiting for the phone to ring or have Lithus' email notification go with news. I'm ready for the pall to be gone. For our laughter to not feel so forced. It's only been three days. But the hurt feels much longer.
Those are Pobble Thoughts.
10 comments:
The crash was on the front page of today's SF Chronicle. We are mourning with you.
Peace and Love,
Mike
I can't imagine and yet, I can. I'm sorry Pobble. I'll be holding you close in thought and hoping the answers you seek are yours soon.
I think writing a story to honor Roark's memory is an excellent idea.
Last night the 10pm news said that investigators believe the top of a tree was the reason for the crash. But little other news. They didn't mention the flight recorder being found.
Like you said, the story will likely fade from news broadcasts because in the era of 1 day being old, well - some things just fade away. So I keep checking here to see if you've gotten your answers yet.
I agree with dennis r. upkins, that writing a story would be fabulous. I'd buy it, just because anyone you like enough to write about, I want to read about them.
I actually woke this morning, and my first thoughts were of you and how you are. For someone I have never met in person, I feel so weirdly connected to you on a woo woo psychic level.
Lithus, as a pilot knows, as do I for the same reason, that the NTSB is slow but thorough. Sometimes it is years before their final report. But usually the pilot's groups, such as AOPA, have a bit of an inside line to getting to the information before it gets general press notice. So work those connections.
You know you both have been in my thoughts.
I hope you find the answers and the healing you need. *hug*
I feel a need to say thank you to all of you wonderful people reaching out with comfort to my Sister and her beloved. It's good to see such a close community.
And on a personal note that I know my dearest Pobble will echo, thank you, appsrus. Quiet, gentle, certain, familiar and familial strength. Love you, dear friend.
I/m so sorry to hear this. I'm praying for you all.
appsrus is right... having spent a number of years in the aerospace industry in a previous working life, the TSB here in the frozen north, and the NTSB down there are maddeningly slow for those who want instant results, but they do go over every inch of every accident. Best that they do a thorough job and release the absolute facts versus today's "gimme now gimme now gimme now" cable news infection.
In the meantime, how about as Denny said, a story for us recalling your favourite moments, favourite laughs, and things that make you smile.
In the meantime, you know I'm just a keystroke away.
{{{}}}
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