Horoscopes I Can Get Behind

Libra According to Western astrology, I'm a Libra. And very much so: Diplomatic and urbane; Romantic and charming; Easygoing and sociable; Idealistic and peaceable. On the dark side....Indecisive and changeable; Gullible and easily infuenced; Flirtatious and self-indulgent

According to Chinese astrology, I'm a Rooster.
Rooster Just see here: Rooster is very straightforward and rewards others' honesty in kind. If you show your hand, the Rooster will respect you for it. Being noticed and admired is an aphrodisiac for Roosters, and they can go a long time on a few kind words. Roosters also adore being out on the town.

According to West African astrology (my favorite), I'm the Traveler.
The Traveler Infinitely so: The character of those of you born under this sign comprises a marvelous mix of fluctuation and permanence. You have a twofold destiny. Your departure makes your village sad but also very hopeful. So you can expect that your arrival in a new place will raise both fear and admiration. More sentitive than you can bear to be, you must rely on your intuition and go on without illusion. Thus, reconciling your outward and inner travels, you will know how to temper your affections and limit your movements to what is strictly necessary.

HOWEVER! According to BegoniaGraziella's horoscope, I am this:
Courtesean Let the games begin! Libra will try anything once. Twice to make sure they liked it. Three times to be absolutely sure. Libras are mental creatures that believe in living and fulfilling fantasies that they haven't done in real life...which is rare because they have done almost EVERYTHING. They are accident prone, they lose bras, underware, condoms....they also accidentally end up in bed with people. Amazing how THAT works! They are never just ONE sex. They can always feel what the opposite sex feels. Which is why they are rarely clingy, except in rare circumstances when they have been led on, then watch the manipulative side of the scales swing. Who are they really? It depends on what day of the week it is. They believe that life is too short to date ugly people in more ways than one. So if you are being shagged by a Libra, there is a good reason. Whether you are attractive physically, emotionally, mentally or have a fantastic sense of humor, there is always a reason for a Libra to be fucking you. But they HATE vulgarity. They despise feeling like they are on a waiting list to get your attention...worse yet, feeling like they are your groupie. That won't last long, then. But, if you get past all that, expect long luxurious nights talking and playing Strip Tarot or Naked Chess. They are the Graceful Slut...but not slutty and yet accident prone. They are the eternal Courtesan or Concubine. They are sex therapists, porn writers who knows?

And according to Buttrrflyy's horoscope, I am this: Libras gave birth to the term "shopaholic". These folks have every credit card known to man. And while their taste is undeniably impeccable, it can get them in trouble at bankruptcy court. What's really at stake here is a quest for beauty. Enjoying simple but inexpensive pleasures like nature walks and museums can quell the urge to splurge.

shopaholic

Well now. I believe this is what is known as "being cut from whole cloth."

Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.