Recently, I have had several occasions to be thinking about, talking about, and mulling over love. Nemeria's wedding. The New York Supreme Court. Online dating. Begonia's relationship. Even JMB's death. What causes people to love? And why are people so nervous about it?
I have always felt that love was a gift. Even if it is not reciprocated ~ to be loved by another person... How special is that? It's a gift I don't think enough people appreciate, understand or value. Perhaps if we did, we could be more gentle with one another.
Our language doesn't account well for love either. I mean ~ "love." What does that mean? Sure, we differentiate between loving and being in love with but how easy is that to confuse? The phrase is still "I love you." I say that to my nephew and I said it to the SGM. I wrote it to appsrus earlier this evening, giggled it to the Divine M and whispered it to the puppies. My first words to Dondon009 (once I knew who he was) were "Oh my God, I love you so much." Yet eventhough I have butterflies for a certain person (Butterfly Boy, as Jaded dubbed him this evening), I am a long way from loving him. Loving is easy for me. Loving isn't. And how the hell are both of those statements truisms? The language fails us.
I love many, many people. Hell, odds are good that if I am in a relationship with you ~ whatever that relationship may be ~ I love you. Whatever it is that you bring to our relationship, if it's worth me keeping you around, it's worth me loving you for. Simplistic, perhaps, yet true for me. At the same time, I have only been in love a small number of times.
Over the years, I have learned to be careful with the phrase "I love you" because it does mean such different things to people. It makes people a little nervous ~ even if they know what I mean. I haven't said it to any of the guys I've met on my site, most of my fellow bloggers or several of my Girlfriends. It's too easily misconstrued, which makes people ... uncomfortable. Frankly, I think it's a shame. I think we need to be able to say "I love you" far more often. I think if we could recognize what a gift love truly is, it would be one we could share more often, be more comfortable expressing, be more comfortable accepting in and from others.
Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.
12 comments:
I think you know that I love you. At least, I certainly hope you do!
xoxox
I have to admit, hate to admit that I am guilty!
I have a very difficult time with "I love you" in person, on the telephone, or on line; even to family. I will sometimes simply say "love ya" never with the "I"; no clue why.
This is why I've written more than once in your comment section and even in e-mails..."know that you are loved", and you are.
DON~
Here's something I've noticed I do, only since reading this post of yours - actually.
With my bestest pals I tend to say "love you.", omitting the "I".
For Mr. Zoom it's all "I LOVE YOU AND WILL TRACK YOU DOWN IF YOU EVER TRY AND LEAVE ME" full of "I" and psychosis.
For some reason my head felt like dropping the "I" for friends made the distinction between those kinds of love?
Your paragraph on "If I am in a relationship with you - whatever that relationship may be..." I like that one. I see myself in there.
As you mentioned in my comments section, I'm groovin' on words this morning, so allow me to continue on this little subject....
There aren't enough words for 'love' to express it fully and completely. It's like the word 'blue'... is it cerulean? Azure? Indigo? All of these technically fall under the title 'blue', but each has its own personality & charm.
There are so many variations of love, and we tumble back into Classical terminology to catagorize them: paternal, fraternal, maternal. We tack on the term 'love' at the end, and these modifiers do a poor job of encompassing the depth and quality of love we're trying to express. The facets of love cry out for their own titles -- maybe we only have four little letters to express such an important emotion because we're scared of how big/encompassing/life-changing/magnificent it is?
I only know you through your blog, Pobble, but I love coming here and I love reading your words, so I suppose, within the limited context through which we have interacted, I love you. :)
Love definately isn't expressed enough, but then it's abused so more often. :o( I wish more people could tell others that they love them. (Especially when they are shopping for a 50th anniversary and want to buy Cubic Zirconia and tell their wives it's diamonds!! This happens at least once a month!!) Well, I do love your blog, and your visits to mine! :o)
Words of wisom again. When I was growing up, (one of six kids) my parents never said I love you, we knew they did, but the L word was never spoken.
I promised my self when I had my kids I would say "I love You" every day/ or many times a day.
I am proud to say my kids say it back, even at 18 and 19 y/o.
great topic and great comments
I love you! :-)
I feel like we need a quazillion words for love, the way Alaskan Natives have words for snow! But I think that when we're actually feeling it, it's hard to come up with the words to equal it.
i love you... and ALL that means
I have always felt that we need as many words in the english language for love that the eskimo's have for snow (which I believe is 20 something different terms or something like that) If we did then dear Pobble you would not be in this predicament.
Love,
Pharmyard
I love you.
I say it all too easily because I do love everyone, to a certain degree.
I loved David, I cried my heart out when we broke up and cried every single time I thought of him hating my guts. I would give my life for the boy who is now fully displeased with me but I love him as a friend.
I love Brittany as a friend even though she pisses me off and I want to break her little Phillipino nose every now and then, I still love her.
And I love that one guy that I know but I can't tell him that I love him because since it's a relationship, and I do NOT want to scare him off so I promised myself that if we stay together for a year, I'll tell him I love him then....not until then.
It's funny, I too wish it wasn't such a scarey ordeal to say, "I love you" to someone. But, I tend to want to blurt it out when I feel that moment. I say it to every one I'm close to at some point and quite frequently to some. Sometimes I know it's a scarey thing for people to hear so I try and edit myself and hold my tongue. It's so hard, I want to blut it out with out being afraid it will freak the other person out.
Hi Pobble
I can't think of a single time I was ever told "I Love You" by someone, and ever had it bother me, or ever thought I didn't understand exactly what they meant...
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