Just For Me

Today, my post is just for me. If you are looking for humor or insight or anything remotely thought-provoking, move on and come back later. If you are looking for completely unedited, stream of consciousness Pobble Thoughts then hey, this post might be for you, too.

You know in some (usually bad) movies, there is someone outside of the situation who is in contact with the hero while he is dealing with the drama? Die Hard comes to mind immediately ~ as does an episode of West Wing and it amazes me that those two have Anything in common! Anyway, Bruce is at the top of this building, surrounded by bad guys and lots of fun exploding things and he has, via a convenient radio or cell phone or something, contact with a cop out in the real world. This cop gives Bruce someone to talk to, someone to help distract him and basically keeps him sane between explosions. At the end of the movie, Bruce looks around, sees a man he's never met before and somehow or other knows it's "Pal." (hey, Extrordinaire ~ check out the correct punctuation!) And there is this weepy moment where these two men finally meet and embrace.

I have spent the last several hours being "Pal." ~ and if I never have to do it again, that's fine by me. My Dear One down in Texas has Finally hit the road and is evacuating. I suppose but I'm not sure that his *%#$&%^##%&$*%$#*)#$^%*$(&$# stepfather got over himself and decided to actually LEARN from Katrina. However, starting at about 10:30 yesterday morning and not ending until after 1 this morning, I have been instant messaging with my Dear One. I have flirted, joked, waited, listened, calmed, babbled and stayed right here at this computer. At some point last night, I reminded him that he didn't have to stay on just to talk to me. And he asked if I would stay with him.

Now, there's not much Caretaker in the Boston Pobble. Used to be, I admit it. But I got over that a long-ass time ago. But when a scared 20-year old who wants nothing more than to get the hell out of Dodge but won't leave his momma asks you to be a lifeline until 1) they finally leave; 2) he loses power or 3) he has to run for his life, it's kinda hard to say no. Shortly after 1 this morning, he decided he wanted to get some more stuff packed up because Momma had decided to leave at 5 a.m., in spite of &%(#(%&%&(#)(*^)#(#$&@*(%&(* stepdad. Something made me leave my messenger up, even after he logged off.

Bless his heart, he pinged me for the first time this morning at 5:30 his time. Momma was waffling and he was waiting again. When I stumbled into my office three hours later ~ there he was. And so I have sat here. Used a break while he went to get gas in the trucks to take a quick shower, make coffee and grab a smoke. And then we sat here. Discussed the merits of sandwiches made with potato chips v. those made with fritos (he is 20, remember) and stayed staunchly on either side of the debate. (I was a potato chip girl myself) Talked about what he was taking with him. Talked about what we would do next time we got together. Looked at weather maps and driving directions to Center, Texas (which, for the record, ISN'T in the center of Texas.) And, every so often, he would ask if I wanted to go. And I would remind him that I was there for as long as he wanted me there. And he would say "Good. Thanks. So..." and we would babble some more.

Finally, finally, finally ~ Momma stepped up and said it was time. So my Dear One and I said goodbye. He asked if I remembered where he was going. I assured him I did ~ Center, Texas. He asked if he could call me when he gets there. I assured his ass he'd better, regardless of the time ~ and stressed that if calling me wasn't a priority, I understood that too. He didn't ask ~ but I told him I would stay online until he logged off. So I did. And when his name disappeared from my "online" buddy list, I broke down and wept.

Interestingly enough, it is harder now. Don't get me wrong ~ I am SO GRATEFUL he and Momma are on the road. I don't know if &%$&%*$#*(#%&$*%#*()$#*%^$&*#()*$#(%#^%*$&#*$(#)*($(#*&%&*$&$(#)8$(#)&%$%$**$#()@(#@)_($(#&%*#$*$_#9$ stepdad went with or not. Don't really care. And, at the same time, it is harder not knowing what's happening. I KNOW he is heading to safety and wouldn't in a million years prefer him at his computer in the direct line of the bitch. I trust COMPLETELY that he is safe and will make it to Center, Texas incident free. And I will rest better whenever that phone call comes. Because waiting is its own bitch.

You know, the movies may be about Bruce ~ but I have developed a respect for Pal. It ain't easy being Pal. It hasn't been easy maintaining my calm because the last thing the situation needed was more drama. But I wouldn't have changed it. I wouldn't have not been there for him. And I am honored beyond words that I'm the one he wanted with him.

So, my charged candles will stay lit for the duration (safely, I promise!) and my energies will continue to go with him and surround the people who DID stay. And life will go on. In spite of stupid people. And *%*$(%*$&*#()$()#*^%*$)($()^$**$(%)($)%$&^($)#($@_@_%*$$*)*%$(&@__#(@%*$&%$*% stepdads.

Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.