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Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Buy A Subscription...

...'Cause I've got issues!

1. When your dog is whining and shivering it is so scared at the vet's, don't yell at the poor baby or scold it. Give it some love and some reassurance. Or give the dog to someone else.

2. I miss tan M&Ms. Yes, I know they've been gone forever. Yes, I know they were replaced by the much prettier blue ones. And I still miss them. Thank goodness the stupid lavender ones are gone. For a while it looked as if lavender would replace orange which wouldn't do at all because I like the orange ones best and always save them for last. "Special edition" M&Ms always mess me up just a little bit because they rarely have orange ones.

3. If someone asks for advice, give it or say that you're sorry but you've got nothing (or words to that affect.) Do not offer platitudes or the verbal equivilent of a dismissive shrug. And if someone doesn't ask for advice then, seriously, keep your damn mouth shut.

4. Children should be able to draw chalk pictures on whatever asphalt surface they choose. Yelling at them to "Get the fuck out of my driveway" only makes you an ass. Yelling it loud enough that your neighbor on the third floor and two houses down can hear you through closed windows only makes you more of an ass.

5. I really hate making left turns without a light. It's not a phobia or a cause for panic attacks or anything (although I have known people who would go miles and miles and miles out of their way in order to avoid doing so.) I just don't like it.

6. What is it about the putting away part of something that makes it so frustrating, overwhelming, whatever? I know I'm not alone in this one because a certain person (*cough*Lovely Cats*cough*) has said she will load a dishwasher until the cows come home but hates unloading. I'm the same way. Loading and running a dishwasher? I'm all over that. Unloading it is like having my fingernails pulled out. Same with laundry. I will do laundry, iron laundry and fold laundry. And then it sits in a big washed-ironed-and-folded pile while I dig my way through it over the course of the next week. The putting away part ~ whatever it is ~ sucks.

7. Hearing the phrase "You just ran over my elephant!" has made living in this neighborhood worth every minute of the last eighteen months.

8. The other night when I stuck myself with the used needle from Daisy's fluid treatments, I immediately panicked, convinced that I had given myself some horrible doggie disease. It required a phone call to my mother reassuring me that I had indeed done everything necessary (antibiotic soap, alcohol and triple antibiotic oinment on the band-aid) necessary before I could relax about it. My mother knows nothing about doggie diseases, sticking oneself with used doggie needles or the frequency with which thumbs turn black and fall off after such an experience. I still felt better about it having talked to my mom.

9. Is it possible to need a 12-step program for popcorn? If so, I do.

Those are Pobble Thoughts ~ and Pobble Issues. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.

10 comments:

dondon009 said...

Issues..... yup, I would think so!

#1. I agree completely.... love and reassurance is all it takes. Of course a hefty wallet and a credit card with a gazillion dollar credit line doesn't hurt at the vets!

#2. Skip the coating, get me to the chocolate and fast!

#3. I'm not good at advice. It's usually "my way or the highway"!

#4. Little brats better not be creating chalk art on the sidewalks in front of my house. "Parents, let those lovely children use that chalk on your living room walls"!

#5. I hate driving period.

#6. I don't have a dishwasher, but I tend to leave washed dishes in the "thing you put washed dishes in" forever. Lately, I've discovered 36 styrofoam plates for $1.00 at the dollar store. Life doesn't get any better than that!

#7. You have issues!

#8. Ouch!

#9. I'm not very fond of popcorn, but I imagine there's a 12 step program for anything. Maybe I need a 12 step program to help curb my desire for german bologna!

I'm on a roll.... where's #'s 10, 11, 12?

DON~

Graziella said...

#6 is the only number I feel strongly enough to comment on. I agree, unloading clean dishes from the dishwasher SUCKS. It is a pain in the ass as is putting clean laundry away. However, filling a land fill with more trash (styrofoam plates to be specific) does NOT solve the problem either. There's already enough trash in on our planet, do we really need to financially support the generation of more trash?

Lori Stewart Weidert said...

1. Yeah! Same goes for kids.

2. I only eat M&Ms when I'm traveling; I must have a bag in the car, on long trips. I just scarf them, without ever looking at their colors. I'm piggy that way.

3. It's rare I give unsolicited advice, but if I'm terribly mortified, I'll blurt out my disagreement at someone's decision in no uncertain terms.

4. Right on!

5. I drive out of my way to get to the light to avoid this.

6. Putting away is the largest part of my housework. I am a terrible putter-awayer. I can, in fact, see about 6 pairs of shoes from where I sit. Some of them aren't even paired together, one shoe here, the other over there.

7. My neighborhood sucks, there are no elephants. There aren't even any phrases to overhear.

8. I would have gone the snake-bite first-aid route, cut an x in the wound, and sucked out the venom. And then fainted dead away.

9. I'm ok on the popcorn, but if you find one for cheese, I'm signing up.

Anonymous said...

#4. I HATE it when people yell at children. There are so many more ways to deal with adult frustration. Sidewalk chalk is the coolest thing ever by the way!

#6. I am so bad about putting stuff away that my husband has resorted to putting my stacks of clean, folded laundry into the WRONG drawers of my dresser! It's so bad that I'd rather dig through the WRONG drawers than put it away myself! hehehe

BTW, thank you for your email. I most definitely did not take it the wrong way. I will reply soon.

christine mtm said...

wait... m&m's have colors? i eat them so fast i didn't even notice. ;)

Aisha T. said...

I'm with you on the unloading the dishwasher and laundry thing. Can't stand it. And D and I will manage to get the laundry folded (though he brings up at dinner parties how I prefer to leave it in a wrinkled up ball in the dryer), but we had four big boxes of folded clothes that needed to be put away last week. Everytime we did laundry, we just filled another box.

And the dog thing, don't worry. They say dogs mouths are cleaner than humans, but the truth is, the bacteria, most parasites, and viruses just aren't compatable with humans. Now if you stuck yourself with a human needle....

nRT said...

I agree with #3 the most...if you know the answer tell all but if you don't have a clue, let the person know or send them to some one who can help.
#4,let the kids be kids...chalk can't hurt anyone or thing.
#6, i do the wash, dry and fold w/o a problem. but to put away is a task i dread.
#8, the used dog needle is probably cleaner than most other thing we cut our selves with...and cleaner that the PT facility I was going to!!!
#9, pop corn is a staple in this house, kids or no kids. It started out as a cheap treat now it's a every night need. It beats drinking every night(or does it)
Enjoy the long weekend...it is suppose to be in the high 80-90's tomorrow and get better until Sun, but this is NE so anything can happen.

dondon009 said...

Well dear friend.... you knew it was coming.... WHY should I be the only one to suffer?

YOU'VE BEEN TAGGED!

Please stop by my site, read the rules and participate.

Thanks,

DON~

Rose said...

I understand about the dog. My Ebony shakes so when we take her to the groomer. But I know she likes the people just not the process.

Jaded said...

I HATEHATEHATE unloading the dishwasher. Sometimes I bribe Mr. Jaded to do it, sometimes I just plain offer him cash. The second worst job in the house is putting away the clean laundry. I have been known to just leave it in the laundry bag until the bag is empty, at which point I refill it and start the vicious cycle all over again.

Popcorn was the hardest thing for me to give up on my low carb diet. When I "cheat," it's always with popcorn. Mr. J even got me a cool popcorn popper for Christmas. I can't let it go unused all the time, now can I? Sheesh.