There is a tenet in the law that states "Don't ask a question you don't already know the answer to." In other words, don't get caught by surprise when you're questioning someone on the stand. It's a good rule. It's harder in life. I am a firm believer in not asking a question I don't really want the answer to. If I ask a question, I want the truth. Not what the other person thinks I want to hear. I also follow this when I am asked a question. I assume the asker wants the truth and so I will give it. I will give it as gently as possible ~ something like "it's not your best look" instead of "oh dear God take that off; you cannot be seen in public looking like that!" I will, however, tell the truth (as I see it.) That being said, I have learned that I do not always know the answers to questions I have. And I do not always want the answers to questions I have. I may want reassurance. I may want sympathy. That's not the same thing as wanting the answer. Here are the big ones. I ask them here because, quite frankly, I don't want to ask them anywhere else...
* Did you tell him not to do it?
* Why did you keep it when you knew I was in no condition to think of it?
* How did you help him?
* Are you really doing this thing?
I don't know the answers. I don't want the answers. I won't ask the questions.
Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee.
9 comments:
Well, my dear, I hope you find the answers to your questions soon. {{{{{Pobble}}}}}
Traci ~ Actually, the point is I don't want these answers. Thanks for the hug, though.
I don't have the answers. So that is a good thing. ;) I, like you don't ask questions unless I WANT the answer, and I appreciate all the answers you've given me. It's so good to know that there are honest folks around that I can count on for just that, honest answers.
And the morning after...yes, it is good to be home. I knew it, but now I feel it more than ever, that home is where he is. (And yes, I'm gagging and rolling my eyes at myself!)
I'm with you on that one... never ask a question you don't want the answer to. Sometimes it's just better to run the questions through your head, or blog, and let them go. The answers are sometimes worse than the wondering.
Stay strong.
Graziella ~ just one of the MANY reasons we are friends.
Jaded ~ "The answers are sometimes worse than the wondering." You got it in one, my friend. Thanks.
Well alrighty then...call me confuzzled and put it down to stress...how's that? I'm not always so dense darlin'.
One rule I follow is to Never say anything behind someones back that your are will to say to their face. This rule has kept me out of many a conflict.
I agree 100% do not ask if you already know.
I believe this "don't ask if you don't already know" comes from Plato. His socratic dialogues form the basis of the thinking around our judicial processes. The thing is, as revered as they are, Plato's characters are stooges that say exactly what he wants them to. They're not dialogues at all but essays that Plato writes in the form of fictional conversations. I have to ask, why do we put so much stock in conventions of conversation that have their basis in mummery? I like complication. I like the unexpected. It forces me to think critically and to adapt and to reflect on my own thinking. Always ask! Just don't always trust the answer.
Traci ~ I admit, my thought upon reading your first comment was "she's distracted today." LOL
Nancy ~ That's another good rule!
GOML! ~ You're a braver man than I. Usually, I will ask and ask away. Just not these.
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