Do you have a person in your past that makes you think "Wow...what if?" A friend of mine, Dr. B. and I were out this past weekend and she told me she has been invited to visit her one that got away. Which led to a very interesting discussion. Not many people get a chance to revisit these individuals. Personally, I am of the opinion that she should go. If there is still a spark there, whoo-hoo! If there isn't, then she knows that and doesn't live the rest of her life wondering. Then she asked the dreaded question: Do I have one that got away. Well, hell. Don't we all?
Since reading the title of this post, Nemeria has been thinking "OMG! She's posting about D.D.!" The One in VA and the Lovely Cats would be as well but I have spoken with them since the lock came off this particular storage box. That's the one problem with having friends who have known you this long ~ they know your secrets and what you keep locked away. ;)
Anyway, D.D....Lord, was I crazy about him. And, looking back on it as an adult, I can see that it was mutual. But at the time, two insecure teenagers, neither one really wanting to be the first to ask for something formal and official, it just never quite came together for us. When we met, we hated each other. Neither one of us thought the other knew anything about theatre and that the other was a total wanna-be. Then one day we got to singing show tunes in the dressing room. By the time we were done, we were friends. We became better friends. And I think I fell in love a little with him over songs from Oliver. He called me "my lady, Dulcinea", which, if you know Man of LaMancha is an amazingly beautiful nickname. I wrote him while he was in the army and while he was attending Julliard. Opening night of every show either one of us did, there would be at least one rose from the other. His father was one of my favorite directors and I would work with Tommy again today if he called. And D.D. kept up with my doings through his dad. And then one day...we both left town and didn't really come back.
We emailed for a while a few years ago. But we were both married and he had a child on the way and there were too many unresolved issues between us for it to be completely platonic and just catching up with an old friend. Last I heard from him, D.D. was a daddy with a son. Now, he's living in Wisconsin acting and teaching theatre at an equity house. Any time an actor has a full-time acting gig with an equity house, it's a good thing. Even if it's in Wisconsin. I, of course, am writing and that's an amazing thing. You want to know a secret, though? If you know what you're looking for, you will find D.D. in the very first novella I ever wrote and around the edges of the hero of my first novel. If you know what you're looking for...
I hope he's happy. I hope his son is healthy and his wife is strong and they are a good family. And yeah, part of me wishes I could find out for certain that those things are true. Still, most of me knows it's time to seal and lock this box back up again. Dr. B may have gotten her invitation but I haven't gotten mine and I'm not likely to. That's just how it goes sometimes.
Those are Pobble Thoughts. That and a buck fifty will get you coffee...maybe even in Wisconsin.
10 comments:
Mine broke up with me to marry the girl he was with before me. That didn't last. He called, I was married to Mr. J. He's now married to a woman with my real first name. Bitter irony, me thinks.
The story is long, and for another time and place. But, that's the short version.
Mine was an English professor from Oxford whom I met on a train, and who subsiquently invited me to return to Oxford to live there, and (hint hint) have lots of great, rampant sex. But I was a silly kid, and naive as hell, and.... my god! What was I thinking?!?!?! I still can't believe I said 'no'.
Still, lesson learned: Carpe diem, babycakes.
This might be weird, but they didn't get away. Those relationships happened and I will be forever thankful that they did!
STB
I'm with STB in my thoughts on this one.
There are two who I'd love to know where their lives led them...
but I wouldn't be where I am now if the ones that got away hadn't gotten away.
I think of them more as special chapters in a life story...
I'm excited for your friend though....let us know what happens. Sounds romantic and brimming with potential to me. :)
Sometimes it is years before a door like that opens again. But I know that they do.
You know, I was just expressing my frustration on a board about people who just threw away furniture, then got mad and wanted to charge me when they saw I was about to take it. I speculated that it's the same thing that makes an ex look better when someone else takes them--you see that they have value, other people wanting them shows it, and you just threw it away. All this to say, I think that's just part of human nature.
That said, I also think that just because an ex or a piece of furniture has value, doesn't necessarily mean they belong in your life or your home.
Being one that "got away", I have never forgotten my first "love" Niles...... that beautiful black gentleman from Bermuda.
I was young, he was raising an 11 year old son. I didn't want to be a surrogate "anything".
I left and never looked back.... 30 years later, I still think about him once in a while and wonder.... and smile at the fond memories!
I don't think I dated that one that got away. I thought I did until he did the unthinkable. Looking back I thank God I didn't end up with him.
yeah mine was this chick from Kansas...she was fine but i was a single man in the "A" and wasn't ready to settle down....anyway she got pregnant with a deadbeat who was doing anything for her and her daughter...that was 2 yrs ago...haven't heard from her since...through email...
I'm not even twenty yet and I have one that got away.
You know him, I know you know him.
But, we're great friends and I'm at least glad we talk and I can depend on him. Some loose contact with that one entirely, me...I managed to keep some hold.
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